THE LESSONS IN YET AND GET

Oftentimes parents feel pressure to be “perfect,” even though no parent is (sorry Mom 😇), but there are always small adjustments you can make as a parent.

These 2 simple words can drastically change your child’s…

– Self-esteem: specifically how they perceive challenges

– Discipline: to get things done the FIRST time you ask

– Confidence: sticking with difficult tasks they don’t feel like they are good at or don’t want to do.

The best part is, you can make this change right away! It’s simple and easy to implement.

So here are the 2 words: Yet & Get

Let me explain.

Next time your child says “I can’t do it” when it comes to doing school work, riding on a bike, or even practicing a karate piano, simply add in the word “yet” to the end of the statement.

“I can’t do it yet” means something way different.

It insinuates that you will be able to do it soon, with time and effort, and that’s one of life’s most important lessons that kids often miss, and parents aren’t sure how to teach.

Kids need to learn that failure is part of success. It’s not a destination, it’s just a speed bump. In order to reframe how your child sees challenges, make sure you always add the word “YET.” As a parent, be careful that you use the same language with yourself too!

Just because you can’t do something now, doesn’t mean you never will. So next time your child says “I can’t..” have them include the word yet at the end.

Okay that makes sense, but what about word #2: Get

Well, imagine if you didn’t have a car, and there was no public transportation, so every day walked 3 miles to work. There are two different ways you can frame this situation. You either “have” to walk 3 miles, or you “get” to walk 3 miles. This small change makes a huge difference. To you, having to walk 3 miles to work might seem like an inconvenience, but to someone who had a step-count goal every day, they “get” to walk 3 miles.

The situation doesn’t change, but your perception does.

Saying “today you have to practice your karate” is way different than “today you GET to practice your karate.”

“Have to” sounds like a chore, “get to” sounds like a reward.

One of my favorite quotes is “small hinges swing big doors,” and this tiny little adjustment is that small hinge that can open big doors for you and your family!

But don’t wait until later to apply this, let’s be real, you’ll probably forget.

Let’s implement this today so we can boost your child’s confidence NOW! (and yours too😉)

1,003 Views0
BUILDING FOCUS AND CONFIDENCE IN ISAAC

Isaac started martial arts three years ago. He was 4 and active and his parents wanted to find a way to help him interact better in pre-school.

“Someone suggested karate as a great way to funnel aggression in a positive way,” said mom Ada. 

His first few classes were tenuous as he bounced around. He had to be redirected to sit still or wait his turn. At times, he was nervous to get on the mat without mom or dad. 

“He very quickly fell into the routine of class and really started working toward those stripes, belts, and patches,” mom Ada said. 

What really helped his progress is when mom and dad reiterated the lessons at home. 

“We saw what Ms. B was doing and we used a lot of her tools at home to add some focus, responsibility, chores. If she suggested something, we started using her language at home. Particularly that first year we saw a lot of progress in his behavior,” she said. 

The confidence he gained at martial arts was spilling over into his behavior at home and performance at school.

“It gives him something to look forward to that he’s excited about. I remember when we were doing the tournaments and getting those medals he’s been super proud of. It’s given him those benchmarks to say: this is the level I achieved,” said dad Craig.

Succeeding in his first few classes was just the beginning of a series of challenges along the way.  Virtual school started. The family adjusted to new routines. Isaac resisted Zoom classes because he was already online all the time and missing his friends and his typical little boy life.

Now Isaac is on to his next challenge: the basic class for older kids. Isaac can get frustrated because the moves are more difficult, the class goes faster, and he’s now one of the younger kids in class again.

For many of his classes on Zoom, mom or dad is standing next to him helping him as an onsite coach.

“I’ve seen him grow in confidence. … I love the way you guys are sticking together with him,” said instructor Mr. Tim.

Isaac’s parents see each roadblock as a stepping stone that got their son to a new level. What kept them motivated to keep going is the welcoming environment. “Instructors are taking the time to get to know the parents as much as the kids. Perseverance, working hard, I think those are wonderful goals to instill in young kids. There are so many positive benefits,” said dad, Craig.

1,024 Views0
A WISH GRANTED FOR KELLAN

Everyone is here is for Kellan.

He’s a tiny Asah Shark, thin, a few strands of blonde hair left on his head. No eyebrows. 

He’s wearing an oversized uniform, a blue gi top embroidered with his name, and white pants with the cuffs rolled up. He has a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. 

This day is for Kellan.

The date: April 17, 2021

The place: A parking lot in North Wales, Action Karate, a place he has been many times as a martial artist in training

The occasion: A wish 

The time: There’s not much left

The request: Kellan wants to be on the demo team one day. His diagnosis is dire. Calling all Action Karate demo teams to show up and perform.

The response: I’m in. We’ll be there. We’re in. I’ll do it. 

The overwhelming response: Every Action Karate demo team from the inexperienced younger junior demo teams to the nationally ranked Team Action to the revered head instructors all agreed to show up and perform for Kellan. They came from around the state and the “retired” ones dusted off their best tricks.

In all, 15 teams and over 150 people. Consider the context of this. There were serious restrictions: masked the entire time, socially distant. No one could get within 15 feet of Kellan. Performers had to wait in their cars, bring all their gear and music, coordinate their moves and leave as soon as they’re done to avoid any semblance of a crowd.

It was like a Make-A-Wish event where a kid throws a first-pitch or gets the royal treatment at Disney. Except this one was filled with tornado kicks and spinning staffs. There has never been an event like this in 26 years of Action Karate, and it came at a time in the pandemic when performing publicly felt like an experience of the past. None of the demo teams had seen another demo team in over a year. 

The call for Kellan’s wish hit a nerve. The instructors and demo team members hadn’t been asked to do anything like this before.

At this stage of life, Kellan should be playing, learning, growing, and instead, he is at the stage of reflecting and finding wisdom in each moment. This stage should be saved for the elderly. 

The team at North Wales prepared for this special event. They borrowed nearby parking lots and put up a rainbow of balloons for Kellan’s front row folding chair with his family. Kellan’s instructors at Action Karate introduced him to the crowd and he beamed. He held his mom’s hand or his dad’s hand and leaned forward, gripped by every outside crescent kick. After each team performed, North Wales Head instructor Mr. Shawn Nichols billowed, “What do we think of that?” The spread-out spectators roared and Kellan gave his vote: two thumbs up.  

“Let’s hear it for Team FEASTERVILLE! Kellan how did they do?”

A huge smile. Two thumbs up. And so it went, team after team, moment after moment.

Instructor McKenzie Fagans brought a shirt from Action Newtown with signatures from the whole demo team. Her team cried on and off all day. This one hurt. Newtown has an 8-year-old Kellan who is now cancer-free. “This hits close to home. It is really emotional for us,” she said. 

Instructor Jess Bennett found out in advance what was Kellan’s favorite weapon. On behalf of Action Quakertown, Kellan got performance nunchucks. Kellan asked for them throughout the event and cradled them along with his stuffed animal.

“It puts everything in perspective,” said Mt. Airy Demo Coach Kelly Champagne. “You never know what people are going through.” 

We’re all going through pandemic pains. Here’s Kellan’s, from kellanford.com: “August 31, 2020 Kellan Ford was diagnosed with a brain tumor, metastatic Medulloblastoma in the brain and spine. 48 hours later he had surgery, then 30 days of full brain and spine proton radiation. Kellan started his 7 month chemotherapy journey in December 2020. He stopped responding to treatment in March 2021 after new growths in his brain and cancer spread to his bone marrow throughout his body. 

“Kellan continues to fight, laugh, joke, and is living his best life. The next few months will be filled with a lifetime of memories,” is the euphemism his family uses at the end of that paragraph, and we will leave it at that. 

Master Anthony Atkins had never met Kellan before. Atkins is the admired Huntington Valley Demo Team coach and a world champion seven times over. He handed over his 2nd-degree black belt to Kellan. It’s a significant gesture – belts are special meaningful keepsakes. It would be like giving away a Super Bowl ring. 

“I want him to be able to hold a Black Belt, let him have that belt because that was one of his goals. It’s out of reach for them,” Atkins said. “They were surprised I gave him that. To me, that’s what you do for your karate family. This is my karate cousin.”

Being part of Action Karate felt extra important. Kellan inspired martial artists to use their time for something that brought everyone together.  

That night Kellan dozed off with a BIG SMILE, and said, “Mom I’m gonna dream about Demo Team tonight!” 

Kellan got a dream day and we all got a big memory. In all Action Karate classes for years to come, we will share this lesson about the value of time: 

This Lesson is about something extremely valuable. It’s not money or talent or trophies. It’s something we all have the same exact amount of today – TIME. We all have 24 hours today. 

There’s an ASAH shark named Kellan and he had a really bad illness – so bad that doctors told his family he wouldn’t get as much time to live as most other people. 

Kellan’s parents and older brother decided they would laugh, joke, love, and live his best life. That Kellan would get a lifetime of memories in just a few months. 

One of those memories was a special day at Action Karate when every demo team performed for Kellan and he got to be the captain for the day. His instructor Mr. Nichols said to the 15 teams over 150 martial artists, “I wanted to thank everyone for donating your time. It’s the most precious gift you can give.” All those people had never met Kellan before but it was an unforgettable experience for Everyone.

The lesson here is that your time is precious. Make sure you use your time to improve yourself, share your talents, and make the most of every moment.  

1,009 Views0
9 BLACK BELT TIPS FOR TEACHING ON ZOOM

Did you hear about the guy who was in a coma for the last year? He asked if someone wanted to Skype.

In case that was you, Zoom is now a Noun, a Verb and the biggest thing since beepers. It’s the teaching platform Action Karate uses every day for our martial arts classes as we’ve weaved in and out of lock-down. Zoom classes have remained.

After a year of Zoom, we’ve learned a lot. No matter what you are teaching on Zoom, whether it’s second grade or knitting, here are some tips that will help you sound like a video star.

9 Black Belt Tips for Teaching on Zoom

  1. Say names frequently – Ask participants to ‘Rename’ themselves what they want to be called, and refer to them by name frequently. Things like walking over to someone or making eye contact don’t work on video. Acknowledging them is the best way to keep people engaged.
  2. Include a second instructor whose job is to watch class – In Action Karate, that second instructor is a paid, certified, trained teacher giving feedback to each student. If you don’t have enough instructors, we also have other students take turns giving feedback and giving praise and corrections to their peers.
  3. Have a back-up plan for technology problems – I always have a phone nearby also signed into the class so that if the laptop drops, I can quick switch devices. Don’t wait until one device glitches to log in on the other. Just make sure the volume is turned down on one unless it is needed. Even better is to have another instructor logged on somewhere else who can pick up where your wi-fi left off.
  4. Include activities looking away from the camera – Staring at a screen is bad for your eyes and for your focus. Encourage people to look away from the screen – whether they are looking at a book, their own hands, or a piece of paper for notes. Do this frequently. There are tons of interactive transitions. I really like scavenger hunts for kids. (Go find something that starts with the letter b)
  5. Assign a physical movement to every part of class. It is boring to sit there and listen to someone talk, especially during a physical class. Kids are more engaged if they are doing arm circles, or standing on one foot. It shouldn’t be complicated like a jump spin but a physical movement is helpful.
  6. Forget about left and right. In a room full of people, facing them, we use the “mirror” technique – I say left but use my right. On video it is so confusing. For martial arts, it has been a distraction to learning. It’s better to say “other side.” Or use a “clock” visual – turn to 12, 3, 6 or 9.
  7. Share a video or text on screen to illustrate your teaching. The “share screen” feature is awesome – you can share anything. If you were doing a presentation, what visual would you use? Something on YouTube will help and make it more memorable.
  8. Forget about getting audio input – Mute everyone. It is the worst noise to let people stay unmuted. Only unmute one person at a time as needed.
  9. Can you hear me now? You’re trying to demonstrate, move around, get a good camera angle, and in the end, the volume suffers. Get a good microphone. It’s worth it for the audio to come through clean no matter where you are standing. Your instructions should be so clear that someone could take your class even if they can only hear, not see you. They should be able to follow along without moving their ear closer to the speaker, both in terms with how clear your voice is and the clarity of your directions.
971 Views0
SLEEPING LIKE A DONKEY… THE IMPORTANCE OF SLEEP FOR KIDS

Think of physical fitness like four legs of a table, or four legs of a horse.

Each leg stands for a needed component of fitness and health:

  • Exercise
  • Eating
  • Breathing
  • Sleeping

If any one of these legs is missing, the table is not sturdy. If a horse is missing a leg, it’s barely going to be able to stand up.

The same is true for kids. If they are active, eat healthy and then stay up all night, they will not be at their best.

According to Rachel Dawkins of Johns Hopkins Medicine, “Studies have shown that kids who regularly get an adequate amount of sleep have improved attention, behavior, learning, memory, and overall mental and physical health.”

Sleep is in many ways the most important — and most neglected — leg of the table. Meaning: If you had to choose between eating candy for dinner, sitting in front of a TV all day, or staying up all night, it’s the sleeplessness that is most detrimental to short-term and long-term health. Not that any of those are great decisions, but people are often quick to forego or plan to “make up” sleep when in reality it is crucial to good behavior at school, ability to concentrate and moderate emotions.

My kids like: exercise, eating, breathing, animals. My kids don’t like: sleep.

Therefore I put it in animal terms:

  • Snails sleep 30 hours straight
  • Armadillos 18
  • Giraffe 4 to 6
  • Cow 4
  • Platypus 14
  • Opossum 18
  • Toad 14
  • Donkey 3
  • Star nosed mole 10.3

What’s best for a human kid:  somewhere between a giraffe and a toad, but essentially as much sleep as a star nosed mole. 10 hours give or take an hour.

The next time your kid tries to stay up late, simply tell them you don’t want them to be like a three-legged horse, but more like a well-rested star nosed mole.

1,087 Views0
MAKING A SINCERE EFFORT

Autoimmune encephalitis is a rare disease most often diagnosed in teenage girls.

Sincere’s mom was shocked when she got the diagnosis for her energetic 4-year-old who loves Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

She wanted to enroll him in karate after watching him imitate ninja cartoons. But she wasn’t sure if he would struggle. The most common symptoms of the disease are cognitive impairment, involuntary movements, and difficulty speaking. 

But none of those symptoms were apparent in karate class and instructors didn’t even know about the diagnosis.

“With the ninja nunchaku kata, Sincere came up right in front of the class. He knows all the moves. He’s doing the advanced kata,” said his karate teacher Mr. Tariq.

To Tariq, Sincere is a fun kid to have in class.

“With his energy, he always wants to bring in extra moves,” Tariq said. When buildings had to close again at the end of 2020, Tariq was able to work with Sincere to develop some of his creative moves during a few weeks of private outdoor classes. He’s looking forward to continuing to highlight his creativity, while also helping him improve his confidence. 

To Sincere’s mom, his ability to grasp complicated moves has given him a new sense of identity. “Especially the focus, he’s been able to apply it in school…even him just being proud of himself. He had so much self-doubt with almost everything. He’s setting these goals and knocking them out,” she said. 

Tariq said that as much as he loves seeing improvement in karate, it’s more meaningful when he’s able to apply it at school and home. 

“Karate aligns the same values as parents. I love to hear you guys use words like integrity. I’m walking away at home and say I hope you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. He’s like, ‘that’s integrity.”

888 Views0